I started this blog a few months ago and my motivation has already fizzled out. This is major flaw for me. I go through each day doing the same mundane routine. I make sure everyone is taken care of, laundry is washed, meals are cooked, and my kids are bathed. I am trying so hard to be more, have purpose! I guess this has always been an issue with myself. The many diaries and journals I have/had that are half empty just shows my lack of follow through. I want to be more on the ball. Stay focused. I am 30 years old and feel as though I have never really accomplished anything in my life. Honestly I don’t even know what my goals and dreams were ten years ago. I do know that now is better time than any to start on the path of creating dreams. Determining a set of goals that could benefit myself as well as my family.
There are certain things I have always known I wanted to get back to. School most importantly. Actually creating a career out of something. Although I have always been a firm believer of working doing something you love. Hmmmm? What do I love? Good question. I love sitting on my couch drinking coffee. I Love catching up on my shows without children interruptions. Ha! Like that ever happens. I love Sleeping, in my bed, with NOONE else… shhh.
What I do know is that I want to keep exploring and discovering new ways to live my best life. To feel calm and happy is my only goal at the moment. I am in a constant struggle with other peoples emotions. I never understood why I got so consumed with other peoples problems now I know its because I’m just ultra sensitive when it comes to another persons energy. Especially when they are blood. I can Feel their hurt, ambitions, fear, loneliness and pain. I can also feel when their happy, giddy and feeling pure joy.
All that aside I am choosing right now to move forward. To keep myself from spinning away into the darkness I choose to live by the light. Reaffirming to myself to stay focused and keep dreaming.